coping with substance

abuse in your family?

substance abuse in your family > adults > seek help > how do i know i need help? > searching for support

SEARCHING FOR SUPPORT

Ultimately, every adult from an addicted family needs to recognize one fact: you deserve help for yourself, and it is available. Help comes in various packages. There's no right or wrong kind-- it's simply choosing the one that works best for you:

Sharing your feelings and experiences or talking things out with a close friend or family member is one way. Think of someone who you feel most comfortable with and can trust opening up to and not be judgmental. This person can be a close co-worker, your church parishioner or anyone who comes to mind.
Read about parental addiction - look for books, pamphlets, magazine and newspaper articles about children of alcoholics and children of substance abusers, family problems, and addiction. The internet is also a resourceful way to getting the information you need, faster and easier. Some suggested key words words to begin your search are: children of alcoholics, children of substance abusers, family problems, addiction, and parental substance abuse. For a list of web site resources, click here.
Having discussions with other individuals who you may not know personally, but who can relate to how you are feeling is another great way. Sometimes discussing matters with strangers-- though not strangers to how you feel, or what you may be going through, can provide the kind of support that you may never thought was possible. The COAF discussion list an excellent way to talk to other individuals like yourself who are looking not only for support, but to give and receive helpful information.
Some COAs and COSAs prefer talking about these issues with a professional - a social worker, Employee Assistance Provider, psychologist, psychiatrist, or other mental health counselor. Most mental health professionals have considerable experience with people who come from addicted families. A professional counselor can help you sort through your problems, concerns, and questions so that you can accept the experiences you've had, and look forward to the places you are headed. They can help COAs and COSAs understand the different ways their parent's addiction has affected them in childhood, and throughout their lives.
Educational programs - sometimes, ACOAs and ACOSAs participate in special classes, seminars and workshops that target specific issues, such as parenting or workplace skills. These groups generally meet for a set number of sessions and are guided by a curriculum, and taught by a facilitator. Check with your local school or community agency about available programs.
12-step support groups are free and an ideal way to gather in a group like setting to share personal experiences, give and receive general support and understanding from everyone participating. Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), is the more commonly known of these 12-step programs. Although not necessarily linked with any religion, 12-step programs do acknowledge a "higher power", but with no specific definition or religious belief system. Many times these 12-step meetings are held in churches, schools and other community buildings. They are open to everyone, but are sometimes targeted to specific groups, such as women, newcomers to the 12-step system or people with special language needs.

For ACOAs and ACOSAs, the most famous 12-step support groups are Al-Anon and Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA). Al-Anon is for relatives and friends of alcoholics, including adult children. Some Al-Anon meetings are set up specifically for adult children from alcoholic families. ACA is specifically for adult children of alcoholics, rather than friends and family. ACA can provide you with meeting information in your local area. Alateen is an Al-Anon program for adolescents to get the special kind of support they need.