HOW TO HELP KIDS AVOID ALCOHOL AND OTHER DRUGS

As a kinship caregiver, you are probably very concerned that the children you now care for stay away from alcohol and other drugs.  While this may seem daunting, there are many things you can do to prevent substance abuse.  But you need to make sure that the things you say and do are appropriate to the age of the child.   Instinctively, you know that what you might say to a 10 year old will not work with a five year old or a 15 year old. 

Understanding what your child is likely to be experiencing, how she tends to think and what’s important in her life allows you to talk with that child in ways that make sense.  Below are some guidelines for talking to children of different ages about alcohol and drugs:

Pre-school aged children (3 - 5 years old)
Children this age are learning what they like, and how they relate to others. They are learning to make decisions for themselves, and ways to handle their feelings appropriately. They are also very concrete thinkers. If you give a four year old one cookie, she may break it into smaller pieces to have more cookie to eat. Children at this age need help sorting through information they might hear about alcohol and other drugs. They also see adults as all-powerful, and your behavior serves as a strong model for them. However, rather than spending a lot of time talking about alcohol and drugs, you’ll want to stress the need for children to take personal responsibility for their own health and well-being. Information should be concrete, related to the child’s experiences, and stated positively. Your focus should be on helping children form healthy habits that will serve them well in school and in life.

Here are some things you may wish to encourae or discuss with your child:

• Self-help skills such as brushing teeth, washing hands, blowing their nose, dressing and undressing themselves, and helping to set and clear the table
  

• How being helpful makes children and parents proud
  

• How children can develop plans (by breaking down tasks into manageable steps)
  

• Who the responsible adults are in their life (those authorized to take them places, feed them, or give them medicine
  

• How to separate reality from fantasy
  

• How to solve problems objectively (how to define the problem, come up with possible solutions, select a solution, test it, and figure out if it works)

School-aged children (6 - 10 years old)
The typical school-aged child is eager to be independent and grown-up. They are looking to achieve, and to push themselves. Friends are very important, and acceptance can be everything. During these years, children are exposed to messages that may not agree with your values. Children may be pulled in a direction you don’t want them to go, and they still have a hard time focusing on future consequences – they are much more concerned with the here and now. Children in this age group are ready to absorb information that deals with drugs and alcohol. Some children may even have experienced pressure to experiment with these substances.

Your discussions with children need to be based on fact and focused on the present (future consequences are too distant to have meaning). Because adults are still the major influence in children’s lives at this age, now is the time to set clear rules and model behaviors you would like your children to embrace, and to encourage friendships and attitudes likely to support a drug-free life.

Some topics you may wish to discuss with your school-aged child include:

• What alcohol and drugs are like, why they are illegal and what harm they can do
  

• The differences between medicinal and illegal use of drugs
  

• The rules at home and at school concerning alcohol and other drug use (including why children cannot use alcohol)
  

• How to express feelings in healthy ways (children can be encourage to share their feelings verbally, or through art or other creative outlets)
  

• How to think critically (children need to learn how to assess messages they see in advertising, the news media, sports and entertainment personalities, adults in authority, and friends)

When discussing problem-solving, be sure to point out that quick fixes are not long-term solutions. To help children pick supportive friends, your conversation might deal with looking at people’s strengths and weaknesses, becoming involved in activities that foster friendships, and how to escape from situations that do not enhance self-esteem.

Adolescents (11 years and older)
Children in this age group are extremely vulnerable. This stage of life is filled with self-doubt, rebellion, and an urgent need to be liked by peers. Most youngsters who use alcohol or drugs first experiment during early adolescence.

Even if your child is getting drug education at school, do not assume this is enough. As children grow and mature, your discussions must do the same. Young adolescents won’t accept the word of an adult out of respect alone. They need to relate to your message and weigh its relevance as well as its truthfulness.

Here are some topics you may wish to discuss with your adolescent:

• The effects that alcohol and other drugs have on the human body (you can focus in part on deterrents such as foul breath, stained teeth, skin problems and other physical attributes that are of concern for young teens)
  

• How and why chemical dependence occurs (including the unpredictable nature of dependency and how it varies from person to person)
  

• The impact of drug use on society
  

• Maintaining a healthy lifestyle (and avoiding high-risk situations where temptation to use substances is greatest)
  

• Positive approaches to stress reduction
  

• Setting realistic short- and long-term goals
  

• Helping children resist peer pressure (have confidence in their own judgment, give youngsters words they need to say "no" to friends, encourage individuality)

It is very important to make sure that the information you provide is accurate and up-to-date. If your child catches you citing information that is wrong or dated, he or she is likely to think that everything you have to say is untrustworthy. Don’t chance it – the stakes are too high. Make sure you have your facts straight.