Many young children who have been neglected by a drug abusing parent may never have learned some of the basic activities of daily living, such as eating and using the toilet.  Or how to behave in social situations, like sharing, not fighting and   taking turns. As a caregiver, you may have to start at the beginning teaching these skills.

Sometimes, children’s bad behavior is actually a "survival" technique. A child might steal or horde food because not enough was available when he was living with his bio-parent, or because her own belongings were taken from her to purchase drugs. She might lie because it protected her from being abused. He might be aggressive or sexually act out because these were the only ways he could get attention in the past. Understanding the root of the problem does not mean that these behaviors need to be tolerated. But they may be difficult to let go of, even in a safer environment.

Don’t assume the child is stupid or bad.

Offer plenty of rewards for good behavior (stickers or a special "star chart" are good motivators for many young children).

Use minor setbacks (such as toilet accidents) as opportunities to talk about how proud you are of the progress that has been made, rather than as times for punishment or yelling.

Keep in mind that the child might regress at stressful times (i.e.: starting day care, or having contact with an absent parent).

Set up social situations that allow a child to shine, rather than highlighting the lags the child is experiencing.

Address behavior problems as they occur, setting limits with clear and consistent consequences for limit-breaking. You might tell a child something like "I don’t like stealing, and you cannot take things that are not yours. But I am here to take care of you. If there is something you want, let me know. If I can get it, I will. If not, we can figure out some options together."