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substance abuse in your family > caregivers > coping with kid's behavior problems > infancy

BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS: INFANTS

Infants who are exposed to alcohol or drugs in utero may exhibit different symptoms, depending on the drug of exposure, as well as the timing and severity of exposure. For example:

A baby who has been exposed to heroin may experience withdrawal symptoms initially, and require special medical attention.

Babies who were exposed to alcohol may have physical abnormalities (facial features may be a little off, or look similar to a child with Down's Syndrome), or may show signs of mental retardation.

Infants who were exposed to crack cocaine as fetuses may be hypersensitive to light or noises, may have a very high pitched scream, be difficult to soothe, or exhibit a "spasticity" that makes them reject traditional comfort techniques, such as cuddling.

What you can do:

For any child that has been exposed to drugs or alcohol prenatally, see what types of early intervention programs exist in your community. Check with your local hospital, medical school, or special education program. Many communities have special programs available for drug-exposed infants that includes therapeutically-based stimulation, education and attention.
Be sure to talk with your child’s pediatrician about what you know – or even suspect – might have happened during pregnancy. Don’t let the stigma surrounding substance abuse prevent you for talking frankly with the doctor – he or she needs to know the full history in order to provide accurate diagnoses and ensure that the child gets the services he or she needs.
Check with your local March of Dimes chapter to learn more about birth defects and the impact of drug and alcohol exposure during pregnancy. You might also check with the National Organization for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome if the bio-mother was drank during her pregnancy.

Childhood
Children who have lived with a drug or alcohol abusing parent will frequently show all sorts of behavioral problems. Consider the following:

Many young children who have been neglected by a drug abusing parent may never have learned some of the basic activities of daily living, such as eating and using the toilet. Or how to behave in social situations, like sharing, not fighting and taking turns. As a caregiver, you may have to start at the beginning teaching these skills.

Sometimes, children’s bad behavior is actually a "survival" technique. A child might steal or horde food because not enough was available when he was living with his bio-parent, or because her own belongings were taken from her to purchase drugs. She might lie because it protected her from being abused. He might be aggressive or sexually act out because these were the only ways he could get attention in the past. Understanding the root of the problem does not mean that these behaviors need to be tolerated. But they may be difficult to let go of, even in a safer environment.

What you can do:

Don’t assume the child is stupid or bad.

Offer plenty of rewards for good behavior (stickers or a special "star chart" are good motivators for many young children).

Use minor setbacks (such as toilet accidents) as opportunities to talk about how proud you are of the progress that has been made, rather than as times for punishment or yelling.

Keep in mind that the child might regress at stressful times (i.e.: starting day care, or having contact with an absent parent).

Set up social situations that allow a child to shine, rather than highlighting the lags the child is experiencing.

Address behavior problems as they occur, setting limits with clear and consistent consequences for limit-breaking. You might tell a child something like "I don’t like stealing, and you cannot take things that are not yours. But I am here to take care of you. If there is something you want, let me know. If I can get it, I will. If not, we can figure out some options together."