House rules that apply to everyone living in the home – and their enforcement - are very important, especially if the bio-parent’s siblings are also part of your household.

Because life with an active substance abuser can get crazy, try to provide the children with plenty of "normal" experiences. You might schedule outings from time to time for the whole family – to the park, the circus or the beach. All outings should be scheduled in advance, and there should be clear rules against any drug use prior to or during the outing. Do your best to have outings that will be successful for everyone - a family barbecue in the park might be more fun for everyone than a trip to the circus with a hyperactive child.

You can try to keep what are known as "family rituals" – pizza every Friday night, church on Sunday mornings, roast pork for Thanksgiving dinner. It doesn’t matter what the ritual is, as long as it is something, you do it everytime, and over a long period of time.

When an addicted parent lives at home, health is a critical issue. Children bring home all sorts of germs, and a substance abuser, with a weak immune system, may be prone to getting sick a lot, especially if tuberculosis or HIV is a possible issue. Insist on the substance abuser visiting a doctor regularly. Also try to ensure that the doctor knows about the drug problem, in case any medications are prescribed that might cause problems when they interact with other drugs.

If a parent does have HIV/AIDS, universal precautions should be taken. Children can be taught basic safety procedures – such as not kissing a "booboo" (a cut) to "make it better," in case they want to kiss HIV-infected mom’s bleeding finger. There should also be spray bottles with bleach solution, latex gloves, etc. around to make sure your home is safe for everyone. Call GMHC for more help on living with someone with HIV/AIDS.

Encourage treatment for the addicted parent.  It is very important to remember that an addict will continue to use as long as the consequences of use do not outweigh the benefits. It is up to you, then, to see that the addict experiences as many consequences as possible, and as few benefits. Drug treatment providers report that most people say they go into a treatment program not because they want to stop needing drugs, but because they don't like sleeping in cars or on building roofs. They are sick of being dirty and hungry all the time. This means that you can play an important role in helping the addict get better. But it's a strange and awkward  kind of help - you need to deny the basic comforts - a warm bed, a shower, food, and concern. You need to turn away in order to help. It is not until substance abuse is too uncomfortable that any action will occur.