coping with substance

abuse in your family?

substance abuse in your family > caregivers > talking about alcohol and drugs with kids > when is the right time?

WHEN TO START TALKING ABOUT SUBSTANCE ABUSE

The best time to talk about substance abuse is when you are prepared. This means that you have done some homework on drugs and alcohol. Be able to share facts such as "marijuana today is much stronger than it was in the past," and "many teens in treatment programs are there for marijuana, not cocaine or crack." Such as "alcohol is a drug too, even though it is legal," and even "drinking wine coolers can lead to an alcohol problem." You should be able to describe different drugs and what they do (don’t forget to find out about inhalants and the new club drugs like Ecstasy). Know what it means to "experiment" and to be "addicted." Be informed about addiction, treatment, recovery and relapse.

Another part of being prepared is choosing a time and place that is good for both you and your child. Right in the middle of your grandson’s favorite television show, or the night before a big test is probably not the best time. And at the end of a hard day at work, or as you are rushing around getting ready for church is probably not a good time either. A good time is when you are alone together, and relaxed, and have the time for a real discussion.

Teachable moments

As a parent or caregiver, you will find that sometimes you will be the one who initiates a conversation about alcohol and drugs. For example, when you give medicine to a child, you can take the opportunity to talk about who is allowed to give the child medicine, and under what circumstances medicine should be taken, and what is the purpose of medicine (to help you when you are sick). Or when you are driving somewhere together and begin talking about peer pressure on the way.

But sometimes opportunities present themselves, and you have little preparation. Like when you are watching a detective show on television and the story line revolves around the murder of a drug dealer. Or when your child comes home from school talking about a rumor that a classmate’s father was so drunk the other night that he crashed the car, and is in the hospital with a broken neck. These situations can be considered "conversational gifts" that offer you a natural starting point for a difficult discussion. Don’t be afraid of these instances, but use them as chances to clear up misconceptions, express your values, and explore different solutions to the problems being presented. For example, if you find yourself in a conversation about local drug dealers and how hard it is to get past them on the way home from school, you and your child might talk about – and even practice - things to say or do when approached.

At what age should I start?
The worst time to talk about substance abuse is when it is too late. When a child has already discovered alcohol or other drugs, your opinions may be discounted. The best solution for this is to talk about drugs early, and frequently. And by early, we mean introducing these concepts by age 3.

"Why so young?," you may ask. Not because we think they are considering using drugs, but because we don’t want them to start experimenting at age 11 or 12, and the foundation for healthy habits are laid down in the preschool years.