When you agreed to take in the children from their bio-parents, you made a decision based on safety - you knew that if they were living with you, they would be safe and sound.  It just stands to reason, then, that protecting the health and well-being of those in your care is your #1 priority.

If you have a substance abuser in your life, safety may seem a little unsure. Maybe the addicted bio-parent shows up with friends sometimes looking for money. Or they threaten to take the kids back if you don't "behave."

To safeguard everyone's safety, you should follow these simple rules:

• Only those people who actually live in your house full-time should have keys.

• You need to stay in control of who comes in or out of your home.

• Keep any obvious, or even potential weapons hidden or unavailable. This means guns should not be allowed in your home, and knives, scissors, screwdrivers, etc. should not be left sitting out on the counter.

• Try to avoid keeping valuables in the house. A safe deposit box at a local bank, or even some sort of heavy-duty locked box can protect your things.

• Know the basic symptoms and side effects of the drugs used by the bio-parent and stay on the alert for potential signs of violence.

• Have a clear rule stating that the bio-parent will not be allowed contact with any members of your household when he or she is high, and stick to that rule.

As painful as it may be to admit, as long as the bio-parent is abusing alcohol or drugs, you cannot trust them. Addiction is cruel - people who are addicted put drugs (including alcohol) higher than everything else. This means that an addict will lie, steal, threaten, and even become violent if it is a way to secure drugs and avoid the sensation of withdrawal. It may be hard to imagine someone you love turning against you violently, but drugs can make people do things they would never do if they were sober.