coping with substance

abuse in your family?

contact us | donate now | site map

catalog | Phoenix House | home

substance abuse in your family > children and teens > parent have a problem > someone's use getting to you?

IS SOMEONE'S DRINKING OR DRUG USE

GETTING TO YOU?

Do you have a parent, close friend, or relative whose drinking or drug abuse upsets you?
Do you cover up your real feelings by pretending you don't care?
Are holidays and gatherings spoiled because of drinking or drug abuse?
Do you tell lies to cover up for someone's drinking or drug abuse or to hide what's happening in your home?
Do you stay out of the house as much as possible because you hate it there?
Are you afraid to upset someone for fear it will set off a drinking or drug use bout?
Do you feel no one really loves you or cares about you?
Are you afraid or embarrassed to bring your friends home?
Do you think the addicted person's behavior is caused by you, other members of your family, friends, or rotten breaks in life?
Do you make threats such as, "If you don't stop drinking, using drugs, or fighting, I'll run away?
Do you make promises about behavior, such as getting better school marks, going to church, or keeping your room clean in exchange for a promise that the fighting, using, and drinking will stop?
Do you feel that if your mom or dad loved you, she or he would stop drinking or using drugs?
Do you ever threaten or actually hurt yourself to scare your parents into saying "I'm sorry" or "I love you"?
Do you believe no one could possibly understand how you feel?
Do you have money problems because of someone else's drinking or drug abuse?
Are meal times frequently delayed because of the drinker or drug abuser?
Have you considered calling the police because of the drinker's or drug abuser's abusive behavior?
Have you refused dates out of fear or anxiety?
Do you think your problems would be solved if the drinking or drug abuse stopped?
Do you ever treat people (teachers, schoolmates, teammates, etc.) unjustly because you are angry at someone else for drinking or using drugs?

(Adapted from Al-Anon)