coping with substance

for professionals:

working with affected families

for professionals > effects of parental substance abuse

EFFECTS OF PARENTAL SUBSTANCE ABUSE

ON CHILDREN AND FAMILIES

Children of alcoholics and other substance abusers are a population without a clear definition. Because the concept of COA/COSA is focused on the child rather than the parent, the definition of a COA/COSA is any child whose parent (or parental caregiver) uses alcohol or other drugs in such a way that it causes problems in the child's life. The child may no longer be living with the substance abusing parent because of separation, divorce, abandonment, incarceration or death. And the parent does not have to be still actively drinking or using for the child to continue to feel the impact of the abuse.

In families where alcohol or other drugs are being abused, behavior is frequently unpredictable and communication is unclear. Family life is characterized by chaos and unpredictability. Behavior can range from loving to withdrawn to crazy. Structure and rules may be either nonexistent or inconsistent. Children, who may not understand that their parent’s behavior and mood is determined by the amount of alcohol or other drugs in their bloodstream, can feel confused and insecure. They love their parents and worry about them, and yet feel angry and hurt that their parents do not love them enough to stop using.

Despite the suffering these children endure, many blame themselves for their parent’s substance abuse. They believe it when their parents scream that they wouldn’t drink so much or use other drugs if the children didn’t fight, or rooms were kept clean or grades were better. Some children try to control the drinking or drug use by getting all A’s, or keeping the house spic and span, or getting along perfectly with their siblings. Others withdraw, hoping not to create any disturbance that might cause a parent to drink or use. Few realize that children cannot cause a parent to drink or use drugs, nor can they cure a parent’s substance problem.

Many times, children of substance abusers are frightened. They may be the victims of physical violence or incest. They may also witness violence – frequently alcohol and other drug abuse goes hand in hand with domestic violence. And as a result, these youngsters may suffer from post-traumatic stress syndrome, with the same kinds of sleep disturbances, flashbacks, anxiety, and depression that are associated with victims of war crimes. These children are not only frightened for their own well-being – they also harbor the all-too-real concern that their parent may get sick or die as a result of the drinking or drug use. They know that their parent may drive intoxicated, or get into fights on the street.

Despite the fact that friends can be a buffer for the problems at home, some COAs/COSAs have a limited social life. They may avoid bringing home friends, or going out in public with their parents. They may even shy away from making friends, because they lack basic social skills or out of a profound fear that someone will find out the truth. They may also find it difficult to make friends because other parents have warned their children to stay away from these youngsters from troubled families. On the other hand, some young people use friends as buffers, relying on their leadership skills to take on key positions in school and extracurricular activities. These young people are often among the most difficult to identify as COAs/COSAs because their achievements make them seem so "well-adjusted."

Not every family is affected identically. Research has shown that families that maintain certain "rituals," such as holiday traditions or a Friday night pizza and movie can help mediate the chaos of addiction. Sober parents who are able to provide stability, support and nurturing also help minimize confusion and strengthen children. Sometimes family life is less damaging because children rely on "adaptive distancing," a technique in which the child separates from the "centrifugal pull" of family problems in order to maintain pursuits and seek fulfillment in life, school and friendships.

Consequences

Read through the links below to learn more specifics about the consequences of parental substance abuse.

Parental substance abuse interrupts a child’s normal development, which places these youngsters at higher risk for emotional, physical and mental health problems. Because parents who abuse alcohol or other drugs are more likely to be involved with domestic violence, divorce, unemployment, mental illness and legal problems, their ability to parent effectively is severely compromised. There is a higher prevalence of depression, anxiety, eating disorders and suicide attempts among COAs than among their peers. In addition, COAs are 3-4 times more likely than others to become addicted to alcohol or other drugs themselves.

In homes where a parent is abusing substances, physical and sexual abuse of children is more likely. Sexual abuse is more frequent in chaotic and dysfunctional families where communication has broken down and roles have been blurred. Children who live in high conflict homes are more likely to have lower self-esteem and less internal locus of control. This puts COAs/COSAs at higher risk for being re-victimized in the future. For instance, female COAs are more likely to be involved with men who abuse substances, which leaves them open to even more abuse.

Even if the children themselves are not themselves victimized by family violence, simply witnessing violence can have emotionally destructive consequences. COAs are six times more likely to witness spousal abuse than are other children.

As a result of these stressors, COAs/COSAs often have difficulty in school. They may be unable to focus on their school work due to the conflicts and tensions at home. They are also more likely than their peers to have learning disabilities, be truant, repeat more grades, transfer schools and be expelled.

Other effects
A parent’s substance abuse can have other effects on children besides parent-child interactions. For example, if a parent loses a job because of drinking or drug use, the child suffers the economic consequences, especially if this is the household’s only income. Without employment, a family might lose their home, car or other valuable possessions.

A child’s health might also be compromised by a parent’s drinking or drug problem. The child might develop stress-related health problems like gastrointestinal disorders, headaches, migraines, or asthma, causing them to miss school. And a child whose parent’s substance abuse causes neglect might become injured because of failure to adequately child-proof the house or because of inadequate supervision, or even lack immunization and other routine well-child care.

However, the fact remains that the majority of COAs/COSAs do not end up in horrible circumstances. Only one in four COAs will become alcoholic themselves, three in four will not. Most children and teens are able to draw upon their inner strengths to cope with their circumstances and succeed in life. COAs and COSAs can be helped in many ways - both formal and informal - to call on their resiliency.